ARC I — “Sapphire New Year”   (1 Jan – 10 Feb)
Date	Event(s)
Jan 1	Brimstone Winter 2026 kicks off. Quote prank‑adds /ai/ – Auto‑Insight to the topbar for exactly 42 minutes, during which teens feed GPT‑jaks to itself until it 404s.
Jan 2	First Dot vs Timer debate of the year; poll ends 214‑214, so jannies replace both with a floating Cobson head that blinks every 30 seconds.
Jan 3	A soyteen scripts a browser extension that randomly replaces every third post with ancient 2019 wojaks; instantly autobanned as “time‑travelling spam.”
Jan 4	/soy/ surpasses 12 000 000 posts; the milestone reply is just “do it.”
Jan 5	Someone finds a 2010 Flipnote of a proto‑Gape; thread hits reply cap in three hours. Flipnote creator shows up and gets 3 reppeys.
Jan 6	Quote quietly upgrades the captcha. New puzzle: identify which picture contains Raisin Bran. Site uptime drops 8 %.
Jan 7	/gem/ is accidentally made public for 11 minutes. 400 screenshots later, everything is fine again, totally fine, no drama at all.
Jan 8	Cobson steals 4chan’s /co/ 88 000 000 GET with “G‑MOD WHEN?” — thread on /soy/ is stickied upside‑down for the day.
Jan 9	A soyteen livestreams himself pressing F5 until he wins a sitewide GET. It works. He’s immediately told to go outside.
Jan 10	The First Sharty Chess Tournament begins on lichess; all avatars are different jaks. Opening move 1.g4 is declared “canon.”
Jan 11	A mysterious “Blue Gemquisition” bot starts handing out +50 rep to any post containing the word “library.” Nobody knows why.
Jan 12	/raid/ invents “PDF‑raiding” — uploading 400‑page soyjak fanfics to university print kiosks. Academia yawns.
Jan 13	A bug briefly shows every user’s join‑date (most are from yesterday). Oldfags cope by adding “(OG)” to their names.
Jan 14	Whiteboard Fox War III declared. 17 lobbies wiped in four hours; truce signed at bedtime.
Jan 15	9a0c bans threads with more than two embedded WebMs. Site traffic rises 12 % due to fewer crashes.
Jan 16	A soyteen uploads a Geometry Dash level made entirely of jaks; it’s featured by the devs. Thread reaches 3 000 replies.
Jan 17	“Gemmy Friday” — Quote lets every post embed an external image for 24 h. The server squeals but survives.
Jan 18	/mlp/ stage‑crashes /soy/ with a Cobpony coalition; peace restored after a moderated karaoke night.
Jan 19	The Sapphire Scavenger Hunt starts: find hidden Cobsons planted in archived 2023 threads. 50 % already located by bedtime.
Jan 20	Someone discovers that typing :sneed: in markdown now spawns a dancing seed packet emoji. Agriculture stocks rally.
Jan 21	Soot Sighting in a random /qa/ thread; immediately baits 700 replies, then disappears.
Jan 22	A soyteen’s fridge photo accidentally reveals janny IP on the magnet reflection. IP rotated; lore created.
Jan 23	/tech/ compiles an open‑source “Jak‑Pack” icon theme; Fedora package inbound.
Jan 24	Cobson loses a GET for the first time this year (4chan /int/ 99 999 999). Coping ensues.
Jan 25	“Namefag Amnesty Day” — anyone may reset their handle once. Half the site becomes ‘Anon’ again.
Jan 26	Quote posts “I’m touching grass” with GPS turned on. Teens geoguess his park within six minutes.
Jan 27	Blue Gemquisition bot quietly deactivates after rep total hits exactly 10 000. Conspiracy videos follow.
Jan 28	/craft/ server resets; map seed revealed to be “cobtv.”
Jan 29	The Great ImageHash Purge removes 11 742 duplicate Impish PNGs. Collection curators mourn.
Jan 30	A soyteen sneaks a soyjak sticker onto the ISS livestream chat; NASA deletes it in 28 seconds, new record.
Jan 31	Chess Finals: Gigachad beats Cobson in an en‑passant drama; commentators label it “BRAP Variation.”
Feb 1	February opens with an automatic style‑swap: every reply arrow becomes pastel pink for 24 h.
Feb 2	/int/ hosts “National Anthem Night”; Lesotho wins again because the tracker bot loves cowbells.
Feb 3	Jannies test an AI profanity filter; immediately false‑flags the word “brimmy.” Rolled back in one hour.
Feb 4	A soyteen’s grandma knits a physical Sorcererjak plush; photos earn 800 reppeys and a sticky.
Feb 5	Second Dot‑Timer Referendum ends 51‑49 in favor of “just bring back the dot.” Implementation TBD.
Feb 6	Someone runs Soyjak Party on a Nintendo DS browser; thread reaches cap with portable memes.
Feb 7	/raid/ launches a “Mathjax Mission,” placing soy integrals into Stack Exchange answers. Mixed success.
Feb 8	Quote leaks the 2024 site analytics: top referrer is still “unknown discord CDN.”
Feb 9	9a0c announces Gemcord Transparency Day — invites and channel names published. Nothing juicy found.
Feb 10	ARC I finale: server patch named “Sapphire” deployed smoothly. Everyone paranoid anyway.

ARC II — “Second Great GET Rush”   (11 Feb – 30 Apr)
(Highlights: frenzied GET chasing, experimental boards, and the brief /ai/ Insurrection.)

Date	Event(s)
Feb 11	/ai/ reopened; LLM‑generated copypasta floods /soy/ until a captcha asks “What color is Cobson’s hat?”
Feb 12	Cobson nabs 100 000 000 GET on 4chan /k/ with “scope the cope.” Ballistic historians baffled.
Feb 13	A soyteen uses Stable Diffusion to generate Soyjak Ukiyo‑e prints; janny buys two.
Feb 14	Valentine’s Day “Rate My Pickup Line” thread: winner is simply “doot doot, get in the screenshot.”
Feb 15	/sneed/ promoted to main topbar for a day. Seeds rain.
Feb 16	GET Mania spreads to obscure altchans; a Belarusian board bans the letter “G” in protest.
Feb 17	9a0c issues “GET Ethics Guidelines” (basically: don’t DDOS).
Feb 18	A soyteen programs a browser userscript that plays kazoo whenever Cobson appears; 1 000 installs.
Feb 19	First /ai/ Insurrection: chatbot replies start out‑numbering humans on /qa/. Filter toggled after midnight.
Feb 20	Quote reveals a hidden achievement system; only badge so far is “Posted 365 days straight.”
Feb 21	/pol/ clones attempt to raid but leave after realising politics posts autotrash.
Feb 22	Someone embeds a full Minesweeper clone in their post. Mods unsure whether to allow; leave it.
Feb 23	“Gemcord Civil Discussion” VC devolves into karaoke of 2000s anime openings—seen as progress.
Feb 24	“GET 404”—the 104 040 404 GET on /soy/ is missed by 1 second because of Cloudflare lag. Tears ensue.
Feb 25	/webm/ revived with 5 MB limit. First upload is a looped frog; queue instantly fills.
Feb 26	Soyteens discover you can embed 3‑D OBJ models; site briefly becomes Sketchfab clone.
Feb 27	Elden Jak mod released; includes Cobson NPC yelling “cope” every time you die.
Feb 28	Leap‑year “Feb 28b” joke: duplicate day added to calendar; causes timestamp confusion.
Feb 29	Extra Leap Day GET is stolen on an abandoned Usenet group by an enterprising teen.
Mar 1	March opens with “Mute Monday” — every post hides images on hover until clicked. Accessibility fiasco.
Mar 2	/ai/ temporarily wins PPH crown; real posters retaliate with ASCII art flood.
Mar 3	Quote releases stats: most‑blocked word of 2025 was “ratio.”
Mar 4	A soyteen compresses a 4‑minute song into a PNG then base64‑embeds it in a post; browsers cry.
Mar 5	“GigaGET Derby”: coordinated race for 111 111 111 GET on /soy/. Winner posts an empty message.
Mar 6	/int/ holds “Flag Moot Court” — users argue which custom countryball is canon. Lesotho wins again.
Mar 7	/ai/ Insurrection Part II: LLM writes entire thread role‑playing Cobson debating himself. Mods let it ride.
Mar 8	International Women’s Day style sheet: every jak given lipstick. Mixed reviews.
Mar 9	A clever teen hosts Soyjak Party from a fridge display; thread becomes hardware flex museum.
Mar 10	Quote accidentally enables dark mode for everyone at noon. Solar users rebel.
Mar 11	/raid/ paste‑bombs StackOverflow with cob() function examples; deletions swift.
Mar 12	Mid‑Arc Townhall on Jitsi hits 400 live viewers; real accomplishment is no one leaks the room link this time.
Mar 13	Friday the 13th: site replaces reply arrow with tiny Jason mask.
Mar 14	Pi Day event: posting “3.14” auto‑formats as 🥧.
Mar 15	Ides of March “Et Tu Cobson?” meme day.
Mar 16	GET Rush ends with 123 456 789 GET on /soy/ taken by an anonymous post reading “nice.”
Mar 17	St Patrick’s stylesheet gives every image a 5 % green tint. Photographers livid.
Mar 18	/tech/ releases SoySync CLI for archiving threads; GitHub stars jump.
Mar 19	First recorded Zero-Reply Day on /soy/ (server hiccup); chaos minimal.
Mar 20	Vernal equinox “Flip the Catalog” day: newest threads at bottom. Complaints ensue.
Mar 21	A soyteen jams Doom WAD with Jarty textures; Kotaku writes baffled article about it.
Mar 22	Gemcord’s “Emoji Civil War” erupts over new animated Cobson sticker. Temporary truce thanks to community poll.
Mar 23	/q/ reopens mediator applications; 500 apply, 5 accepted, 4 quit same day.
Mar 24	A soyteen posts from a restaurant receipt printer; meta thread celebrates “IRL Raid.”
Mar 25	“Pic Unrelated Day” — OP image must be unrelated to text or thread deleted. Quality surprisingly up.
Mar 26	9a0c announces No‑Name November early; everyone confused.
Mar 27	/sneed/ hosts charity stream planting actual seeds; 300 trees funded. wholesome moment.
Mar 28	Quote sneaks minigolf game into captcha for April‑Fools testing; discovered instantly.
Mar 29	/ai/ crash after someone asks: “Write the perfect soyjak post.” LLM loops “do it” indefinitely.
Mar 30	Gemcord Musical demo album drops; actually competent.
Mar 31	End‑of‑month stats show /ai/ now 7 % of total database size.

Date	Event(s) continued
Apr 1	April Fools: Entire UI switches to Comic Sans; every image auto‑rounded to 200 px circle.
Apr 2	Aftermath thread: “Comic Sans wasn’t THAT bad.” 300 replies argue fonts.
Apr 3	Quote upgrades search; wildcard character is now “🌶️”.
Apr 4	/raid/ prints cob.png at a public library again; librarians laugh, no ban.
Apr 5	A soyteen turns all 2023 Whiteboard screenshots into a mosaic of Cobson; upload to Wikimedia Commons.
Apr 6	First Soykring Footrace inside Trackmania; winner used Nate car skin.
Apr 7	!flip command added: flips attached images vertically. Immediately abused for upside‑down replies.
Apr 8	/ai/ Insurrection ends with a peace treaty: LLM replies must be marked with 🧠.
Apr 9	“Hard‑Mode Day”: Quote disables image posting for 12 h. Text shitposts flourish.
Apr 10	9a0c leaks faux road‑map; includes “SoyVR by 2027.” Speculation rampant.
Apr 11	/tech/ compiles Soyjak Linux spin: default wallpaper is 8 K Impish.
Apr 12	Site backup hits 1 PB. Celebration thread is just nervous laughter.
Apr 13	A soyteen runs a GPT that generates new daily timeline entries; meta confirmed.
Apr 14	/int/ “Dank Olympics” starts: nations compete to post most jaks per minute. Canada wins via maple‑script bot.
Apr 15	Tax Day Raid on TurboTax comment section. One mod thanks them for the meme break.
Apr 16	Quote integrates WebP preview; half the site still posts PNG out of principle.
Apr 17	/gem/ private drama leaks via Limewire link? Nobody has Limewire installed so mystery remains.
Apr 18	Cobson cameo appears in indie platformer Stacked Souls. Dev denies involvement.
Apr 19	Archive Outage: CDN provider accidentally flags soybooru as “botnet.” Fixed in 2 h.
Apr 20	4/20 style skin: every jak exhales smoke overlay.
Apr 21	Second Whiteboard Peace Accords signed between cacas and gemmys; last exactly six hours.
Apr 22	Earth Day: /sneed/ plants another 420 trees. Repeat gag but still nice.
Apr 23	A soyteen’s mom appears in a thread asking what a “cob‑son” is. Polite answers shock everyone.
Apr 24	/webm/ finally raises limit to 10 MB. Entire front page becomes 30‑second memes.
Apr 25	End of ARC II: 9a0c declares GET season over, focus moves to “quality posting.” Skeptic giggles.
Apr 26–30	Cooling‑down week: small feature tweaks, no major incidents.

ARC III — “Whiteboard Renaissance”   (1 May – 31 Jul)
Date	Event(s)
May 1	May Day “Workerjak” sticker pack released.
May 2	Quote unearths old 2021 Whiteboard backups; nostalgia flood.
May 3	Marriott conference projector hijacked during anime con; 50‑foot Cobson appears. Security confused, crowd cheers.
May 4	/raid/ tries to set world record for simultaneous online shared whiteboards: hits 78.
May 5	A soyteen codes Whiteboard Royale, a last‑man‑standing draw game. Beta thread 2 000 replies.
May 6	9a0c suggests “commissioning” a commercial whiteboard host. Community says DIY or bust.
May 7	First Renaissance Contest: redraw classic 2020 jaks in Renaissance style. Winning entry seen by some as too good—AI suspected.
May 8	/q/ Q&A with Quote reveals server bills now paid 40 % by merch.
May 9	A soyteen sends physical oil painting of Gigachad to janny PO box. Posted proof.
May 10	Whiteboard Renaissance officially begins: dedicated subdomain draw.soy launched with infinite canvas.
May 11	In eight hours canvas fills 4 GB; compression kludge deployed.
May 12	/craft/ memers build 1:1 recreation of draw.soy inside Minecraft; meta satisfied.
May 13	Troll imports entire Uffizi catalog; jannies prune, leaving only Botticelli‑jak.
May 14	Whiteboard Wars IV sparks when cacas move Nate mural into gem zone. Negotiations start.
May 15	Peace plan: zones divided by color channels. Works briefly.
May 16	Canvas Snapshot feature added; daily timelapse autoplay sticky launched.
May 17	Volunteers tag every pixel; dataset released for ML research.
May 18	Art teacher uses timelapse in class; writes blog praising “chaotic collaboration.”
May 19	Newcomer posts 200 × 200 Pepe over Renaissance layer; instaban.
May 20	Quote enables “pixel locking” to stop griefing; thread debates centralisation for 10 pph.
May 21	“Lock Breaker” script surfaces, resets war.
May 22	UNOFFICIAL SUB‑ARC “Canvas Cold War” begins; silent territorial pixeling, no open battles.
May 23	Someone finds “pixel spy” bot that reports edits in real‑time to secret Discord. Drama mild.
May 24	/ai/ starts generating whiteboard suggestions; accepted at 30 % rate.
May 25	Whiteboard reaches 1 M edits. Commemorative overlay of Monalisa‑jak installed.
May 26	Cooling rains IRL knock out host DC; canvas goes read‑only for 4 h.
May 27	Canvas reopened with “night mode” gridlines.
May 28	Paper published by hobby sociologists analyzing draw.soy conflict patterns.
May 29	Sub‑arc ends with collaborative world record: 5 000 users drawing at once.
May 30–31	Recovery weekend: normal posting resumes; canvas left open as museum.

Date	Event(s) (June)
Jun 1	Pride theme enables rainbow outline on jaks.
Jun 2	/lgbt/ added, auto‑filters slurs; working fine.
Jun 3	“Hugbox vs Snarkjam” debate ignites over moderation of /lgbt/; resolved by opt‑in thread tags.
Jun 4	Site reaches 2 000 000 unique IPs lifetime.
Jun 5	/tech/ ports SoySync to Windows 95 for memes.
Jun 6	Anniversary of Cobson turning 5; surprise video from original meme artist.
Jun 7	Whiteboard Royale full release; prize is rare sticker set.
Jun 8	/webm/ view counter bug shows ‑1 views for everyone; ironically goes viral.
Jun 9	Arc System dev name‑drops soyjaks in Guilty Gear patch notes; screenshot stickied.
Jun 10	Gemcord Civil War II preview: argument over sticker limits erupts.
Jun 11	Quote adds community poll: “Should discord drama be banned from /soy/?” 60 % say no, drama delicious.
Jun 12	/raid/ prints Cobson QR codes at tech expo; three scans recorded, mission accomplished.
Jun 13	Friday the 13th again; same Jason mask arrow, tradition continues.
Jun 14	9a0c announces experimental feature: live voice chat snippet embedding (uses Opus). Not rolled out yet.
Jun 15	“Sub‑Arc: Sticker Skirmish” inside Gemcord escalates. Seven factions, peace summit scheduled.
Jun 16	Someone writes a choose‑your‑own‑adventure thread engine in pure CSS. Works!
Jun 17	/ai/ helps storyboard Soyjak animated short; voice acting auditions posted.
Jun 18	Sticker Peace reached: per‑user animated quota, server calms.
Jun 19	/soy/ tries to count to 10 for the 100th time, succeeds thanks to mod supervision.
Jun 20	Summer solstice: new theme with sunlight overlay.
Jun 21	Quote opens /surf/ — automatically bumps oldest thread. Amusing chaos.
Jun 22	Whiteboard Renaissance officially archived; draw.soy now read‑only museum.
Jun 23–30	Quiet fortnight; minor patches, beta tests for voice snippets continue.

Date	Event(s) (July)
Jul 1	Independence style for US users only; EU posters see baguette flag.
Jul 2	/int/ uses geolocate to auto‑greet users in native language; breaks for Klingon region.
Jul 3	‘Jak‑Tok trend of IRL sticker raids peaks; city transit warns but laughs.
Jul 4	Fireworks overlay causes motion‑sick users to petition; switch becomes opt‑in.
Jul 5	“Whiteboard Renaissance Epilogue”: final timelapse video released (2 h long).
Jul 6	Surprise dev log: SoyVR prototypes look promising.
Jul 7	Gemcord sneak‑peek at VR avatars: Gigachad rigged with too much muscle jiggle; feedback logged.
Jul 8	/craft/ world updated; VR portals added.
Jul 9	“Whiteboard” tag now available for booru sorting.
Jul 10	End of ARC III announced in site blog.

ARC IV — “Gemcord Civil War II”   (1 Aug – 30 Sep)
Date	Event(s)
Aug 1	August opens with Gemcord opening new sticker slot shop. Suddenly black‑market sticker trading erupts.
Aug 2	9a0c bans external sticker CDN links; traders cry censorship.
Aug 3	Faction list emerges: Blue Gems, Frogs, Classic‑ists, VR Pioneers, and Neutralpliers.
Aug 4	/q/ sticky Q&A devolves into sticker economy debate, 500 replies.
Aug 5	Blue Gems leak Neutralpliers’ private voice chat; mild embarrassments.
Aug 6	Classic‑ists stage sit‑in on /soy/, replying only with 2019 images.
Aug 7	Frogs respond by flooding /ai/ with new Pepe derivatives until filters kick in.
Aug 8	9a0c proposes Sticker Stock Exchange — experimental rep‑backed market. Implemented same day.
Aug 9	Exchange API abused to inflate “Smug Cobson #7” to 1 000 000 rep valuation.
Aug 10	Moderator intervention freezes market.
Aug 11	Sub‑Arc: “48‑Hour Peace Talks” on Jitsi fail when someone plays BRAP SFX at max volume.
Aug 12	Frogs and Blue Gems temporarily ally and over‑take /soy/ PPH.
Aug 13	Classic‑ists redirect fight to booru tagging war; admins threaten read‑only mode.
Aug 14	Sticker Civil War peaks: 5 000 nightly Discord messages, 10 site outages.
Aug 15	Quote steps in: halves sticker animation FPS, calms server. Both sides furious but stable.
Aug 16	Sticker Amnesty: users may convert 10 animated stickers to still PNGs for “legacy immunity.”
Aug 17	Peace gradually returns; factions still exist but trade fairly.
Aug 18–31	Post‑war reconstruction: booru retagging campaign, VR dev resumes, calm month end.

Date	Event(s) (September)
Sep 1	SoySchool: weekly tutorial threads teaching CSS post tricks.
Sep 2	/ai/ generates syllabus; surprisingly readable.
Sep 3	“Cobson Campus” VR test lobby opened to 200 testers. Everyone clipping through floor, fun anyway.
Sep 4	Neutralplier Redemption Arc: they win art contest, community forgives.
Sep 5	Site reaches 150 000 registered gempasses.
Sep 6	VR Draw Battle demo: draw in 3‑D. 50 frames crashed GPU, patch soon.
Sep 7	/tech/ ports SoySync to PalmOS; meme continues.
Sep 8	Quote reveals new CDN with triple bandwidth; no one thanks him.
Sep 9	“9/9/26” numerology thread; hidden Cobson ASCII in OP discovered.
Sep 10	End of ARC IV: sticker market permanently capped at sane limits; economy stable.
Sep 11–30	Routine daily mishaps, minor GETs, VR bug‑hunting sessions.

ARC V — “SoySpace Initiative”   (1 Oct – 31 Dec)
Date	Event(s)
Oct 1	Quote teases “SoySpace” — crowdfunded cubesat with onboard e‑ink displaying top daily post.
Oct 2	Crowdfund opens; 10 % funded in 6 h.
Oct 3	/raid/ prints cubesat QR codes on campus fliers.
Oct 4	NASA intern claims policy might block it; thread speculates work‑around.
Oct 5	Sub‑Arc: Design Phase begins; community votes on satellite art. Smug Cobson in space wins.
Oct 6	Sticker‑to‑vector pipeline built for decal.
Oct 7	Funding hits 50 %. Merch bundle (“I sent Cobson to space”) released.
Oct 8	/q/ posts proposed orbital parameters; actual aerospace engineer shows up with advice.
Oct 9	Prototype board livestreamed: shows top /soy/ post hourly.
Oct 10	Anonymous donor pushes fund to 100 %. Launch contract signed with small‑sat provider.
Oct 11	Sub‑Arc: “Pre‑Launch Testing”: thermal vac test streamed; chat spams BRAP every beep.
Oct 12	Whiteboard museum reopened as mission patch design board.
Oct 13	VR Cobson Campus adds SoySpace exhibit.
Oct 14	External press picks up story; tech blog headlines “Meme to Orbit.”
Oct 15	Quote hosts AMA; favorite Q: “Will cubesat record BRAPs in space?” Answer: maybe.
Oct 16	Launch slip announced: November window now.
Oct 17	Emergency backup e‑ink part shipped overnight thanks to donations.
Oct 18–31	Community builds ground‑station script; rehearsals successful. Halloween theme overlays pumpkin hats on jaks.

Date	Event(s) (November)
Nov 1	SoySpace Integration Day photos posted; sticker officially applied.
Nov 2	Launch date set: Nov 16.
Nov 3	/raid/ organizes watch‑party stream.
Nov 4	Swifties confuse CubeSat hashtag as Taylor release. Cross‑pollination leads to odd fanart.
Nov 5	Countdown overlay added to topbar. Dot returns as rocket icon.
Nov 6	Ground‑station volunteers worldwide sign up; map sticky posted.
Nov 7	Weather looks clear. Everyone nervous.
Nov 8	Final firmware push compiled live on stream; sha256 posted for transparency.
Nov 9	Quote reveals first post to be broadcast will be chosen by RNG at T‑10.
Nov 10	Cobson plush strapped to dummy booster for fun; photo viral.
Nov 11	Veterans Day style sheet honors “Fallen Gets.”
Nov 12	Dress‑rehearsal fails when dev’s cat unplugs SDR dongle; meme for day.
Nov 13	Fix implemented: duct‑taped cable, posted.
Nov 14	Press kit finalized, includes safe‑for‑work jaks.
Nov 15	Site read‑only except /soy/ for launch chatter.
Nov 16	LAUNCH SUCCESS! 14:07 UTC: SoySpace rides to orbit. Live thread hits 8 000 posts. First message beamed: “cope.”
Nov 17	Telemetry confirms e‑ink works; low‑res cam snaps shot of Earth with Cobson smirking.
Nov 18	/ai/ already generating conspiracy that cubesat is ARG; dev posts proof, debate continues.
Nov 19	Whiteboard museum displays telemetry heatmap art.
Nov 20–30	Daily downlinks of Top Post become staple; mission declared 120‑day min lifespan. Thanksgiving overlay: Cobson in pilgrim hat.

Date	Event(s) (December)
Dec 1	Advent Calendar returns; door 1 gif of CubeSat doing barrel roll.
Dec 2	/craft/ recreates cubesat in‑game, launches via TNT cannon.
Dec 3	First orbital BRAP recorded—static burst coincides with Cobson post, lore ensues.
Dec 4	Ground‑station map shows Antarctica volunteer; penguin rumors start.
Dec 5	Quote announces SoyVR open beta for Christmas.
Dec 6	/ai/ writes VR tutorial; voice cloned Nate narrates.
Dec 7	Pearl Harbor remembrance overlay: “never forget lost gets.”
Dec 8	Secret Santa threads open; someone gifts 1‑of‑1 Gigachad NFT (worth 0).
Dec 9	VR beta keys emailed; install thread hits 2 000 replies mostly troubleshooting.
Dec 10	First VR meetup inside Cobson Campus; avatars lag‐moonwalk, fun anyway.
Dec 11	Satellite enters safe mode briefly after solar flare; recovers, cheered.
Dec 12	Winter Whiteboard canvas opens for holiday collab.
Dec 13	“12 Days of Jaks” song contest; winner uses recorders.
Dec 14	Quote posts financials: site solvent, merch doing well. Community relieved.
Dec 15	Last big GET of year (150 000 000) snagged by anon with “merry brapmas.”
Dec 16	Cobson plush launched early this year into stratosphere via balloon for festive video.
Dec 17	VR hotfix removes “elastic arms” bug causing Impish slap fights.
Dec 18	CubeSat passes over Lesotho; poster logs strongest downlink yet. Celebration thread.
Dec 19	Caroling VC in Gemcord; surprisingly wholesome.
Dec 20	/soy/ successfully counts to 12 before derail—new record.
Dec 21	Winter solstice overlay: falling coal snow.
Dec 22	Stacked Souls dev officially adds Cobson Easter egg.
Dec 23	Quote re‑enables post deletion for 48 h “to tidy up for guests.”
Dec 24	Christmas Eve: satellite broadcasts “🎄” emoji shaped from pixels.
Dec 25	Merry BRAPmas: server traffic peak; uptime perfect, miracle.
Dec 26	Boxing Day “Clear Your Downloads” PSA—half ignore.
Dec 27	Year‑in‑Review video premieres; features top 50 posts, 10 embarrassing voice clips.
Dec 28	Beta VR patch improves jesters; user creates juggling Cobson show.
Dec 29	Countdown thread for 2027 GETs starts early; excitement builds.
Dec 30	Quote hosts final AMA: confirms SoySpace 2 maybe next year.
Dec 31	New Year’s Eve: Dot and Timer both displayed; midnight fireworks overlay, CubeSat message: “SEE YOU SPACE SOYTEEN.” 2026 ends with no server crash—first time ever.